This Is Me Breathing

Then There Was One

Hockeytown USA Is Once Again On Top

I hate to say it, but the right team won. As much as I was rooting for the Pens, they were clearly outmatched and not quite ready for primetime. A big congrats to the Red Wings and a BIG sigh of relief. Now we can finally stop with the idiotic and xenophobic comments of how a team captained by a European has never won the Cup.

There is always next year for the Pens and you have to know that as soon as those kids learn what it takes to win it all, there will be no stopping them.

Orlando Or Bust

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The NHL Are A Bunch Of Overly Sensitive Pussies

The NHL never ceases to amaze me, when I see a league that tries so hard to look so tough, yet everyone's panties get tied up in a knot over the most asinine things. A league that tries so hard to get noticed south of the border, yet at every turn does something so bush league. A league that can't come to a consensus about what to do when players are assaulted on the ice, yet act swiftly to make sure that a goof like Sean Avery can't make an ass of himself in front of Martin Brodeur. It's embarrassing really, and it has nothing to do with what Avery did two nights ago against the Devils. It has everything to do with the hockey community's severe overreaction over what he did.

First let me just say this Avery is a tool, plain and simple. But what he did in front of Brodeur was harmless, if not incredibly stupid and a little genius at the same time. Here is the video, if you haven't seen it yet.

Now, what the fuck was wrong with what Avery was doing there?! He was distracting Brodeur. He wasn't touching him, he wasn't interfering with him, he was screening him and being VERY effective too.

So you have puckheads saying that Avery, in his actions was disrespecting Martin Brodeur. Oh, poor Martin—arguably the best goalie in the history of the NHL and a multi-millionaire to boot. Were your feelings hurt? Poor baby. WHO THE FUCK CARES?! As much of a dick as Avery is, he has every right to do everything in his power within the rules to help his team win. I give him kudos for being creative.

Well, the NHL head office were pretty fucking swift to make sure this "disgrace to the game" never happens again. In what can only be described as a monumental overreaction, they went ahead and massaged the misconduct rule to make sure that this never happened again.

It kills me that it takes this league years and years to enact certain rules that might benefit the game and players' safety (ie: no-touch icing, mandatory visors, etc...), yet take only one day to make sure one of their superstars doesn't get his feelings hurt.

NHL head office weren't the only overreactors. Players, media and fans alike have been chiming in over the last 48 hours to talk about how despicable an act it was. Meanwhile guys  like Chris Pronger get away with trying to sever another player's Achilles with his skate blade and gets short unpaid vacation for his atrocity.

If you ask me (and I know you didn't) what Avery did, wasn't any more embarrassing for Brodeur than it was for his own team. It was stupid in the sense that he had his back turned to the play and could have easily blocked a shot that would have gone in, or taken a shot to the back of his head. But it wasn't illegal.

It was genius because he succeeded in distracting Brodeur and although a goal wasn't scored immediately as a result, Avery did score seconds later and who knows how much of an effect his previous actions had on Brodeur's psyche.

Puckheads say that Brodeur is too much of a vet to let antics like that bother him. Obviously this wasn't the case. It seems to me he was sufficiently bothered, he even took a couple of shots at Avery (something that hasn't even been mentioned). On the very next play, Avery scored. Looks like it worked. But it will never work again, the NHL has made sure about that. The league, players, media and fans are very good at making sure all creativity in the game is stifled. Usually in the name of good sportsmanship or for the good of the game or something to the effect.

Case in point: I recall back when Sidney Crosby was still in junior, there was a play where he was behind a net with the puck (ala Gretzky) but instead of coming out with either a pass or a wraparound, he picked the puck up with his stick and scored a lacrosse-style goal. It was brilliant and it worked! He got raked over the coals by puckheads for showboating, as if, somehow his actions were an insult to the other team or the game itself.

Fast-forward to this year in the all-star game where the NHL tried that breakaway challenge. The only player who tried anything creative was Ovechkin. The event failed miserably because of lack of creativity. Because NHL players aren't allowed to show any sort of creativity for fear that he might insult the opposition or maybe insight them into playing better.

It's no surprise that the most exciting player today isn't Crosby, it's Ovechkin. Why? Because he doesn't care if his actions insult his opponents. He's playing for himself, his team and the fans...so was Avery. Perhaps hockey needs more Sean Averys.

This league is constantly shooting itself in the foot. This one story has eclipsed what has otherwise been a pretty exciting playoffs so far. This league head office doesn't have a clue. The problem in this case though is that the rest of the hockey community seems to actually agree with the league's actions. It's no wonder when other sports fans look at hockey as a viewing option, they dismiss it as a bush league sport.

So I'm offering up a round of Bitch Slaps all around; To the NHL, the media, the players and the fans. LIGHTEN THE FUCK UP! Don't be so sensitive! You're supposed to be tough guys not a bunch of little girls!

Fangate

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Two Point Guards: Episode #2

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Introducing Two Point Guards

Here is yet another comic by your's truly courtesy of Bitstrips.com. This is the first in a new series called Two Point Guards.

Just One More Reason to Hate the Leafs...Oh...And The CBC!

Up until this past season, the only reason I tuned in to the CBC was for three shows; The Hour, HNIC and RMR. But this past season I had two other reasons to watch the Mother Corporation, and they were called MVP and JPod.

The first (MVP) was a guilty pleasure mix of T&A and Canadiana. It had an ambitiously large ensemble cast and more storylines than you could shake a stick at. It was a truly Canadian soap opera and it appealed to both my wife and I for very different (yet oddly similar) reasons. MVP's season finale went to a dark place that I wasn't expecting and it actually made anxious for next season...alas, according to this CBC.ca article, that isn't going to happen now.

JPod was a new dark comedy based on a book by Douglas Coupland of the same name. The cast was young and fresh and it featured a hilarious Alan Thicke in a role that would surprise even the most loyal Growing Pains fan. I especially love the role of the pot-growing mother played by an amazing Sherry Miller. This show was probably the best thing CBC has ever produced and it was attracting a younger audience too! Something that the CBC has problems doing. So, they were a sure lock for renewal right? Wrong.

BTW, CBC also announced that they'd be renewing shows like; The Border, Sophie, Little Mosque On The Prairie, Dragon's Den and This Hour Has 22 Minutes.

Now I don't have anything against some of these shows, but really...I think 22 Minutes has had its time don't you? I mean who watches it anymore? Why couldn't they drop it in favour of a new show that might bring in some younger viewers like...say...JPod?

So what does this have to do with the Leafs? Another article on CBC.ca reports that if when the Leafs don't make the playoffs this year it will cost the network $10M in lost revenue. This hit meant that some of the network's newer shows had to go.

So there you have it...the Leafs aren't only hurting Toronto hockey fans, but now it seems their ever-extending reach has touched the lives of Canadian soap opera and dark comedy fans as well.

For not finding a way to keep these two great shows going, and for being the reason for the cancellation of these two shows, I offer both the CBC and the Toronto Maple Leafs respectively, two giant Bitch Slaps!

Leafs' Drafting Record

As I wrote last year, my #1 team used to be the Toronto Maple Leafs. But since then, I've turned my sporting attention to other more serious teams such as the Raptors, Jays, Argos and Penguins.

I got a little flack for my stance from some saying that I was nothing but a fairweather fan, a bandwagon jumper to which I responded with a resounding BITE ME!

I think I'm a bigger fan for wanting what's best for the team, not just sitting back and watching them screw things up at every turn and accepting it blindly.

Well, on the surface, it seems that the team is finaly beginning to take the steps necessary to affect real change. They fired their GM and are in the process of finding a replacement. They're saying all the right things and even seem to be surrendering to the idea that perhaps sneaking into the playoffs isn't what's best for this team right now. Maybe they need to lose before they can win.

Now I'm not saying I'm completely back on the Leafs' bandwagon, but I am watching with interest, if not much suspicion. I'm not 100% sure they've finally opened their eyes, but I'm willing to watch as they stumble upon the truth. That this organizatin has been poorly run for many, many, MANY years.

Case in point:

Recently I've stumbled upon a podcast titled Leafs Central...at Lunch this is a group of your typical battered Leaf fan wives banded together to create a weekly podcast about their favourite team. Now despite their obvious bias, I'm enjoying listening to their show—more for the fact that I'm interested in the whole podcasting process but also because I find their brand of loyalty a little more refreshing than the blatant onair ass-kissing done by the good folks on AM 640. Probably because the guys from the podcast say what they want when they want without worrying about interference from MLSE.

At any rate, the guys fromt he pocast mentioned the website MyNHLDraft.com which peaked my interest so I took a look. As I was browsing through it, I began to see some of the Leafs picks in past drafts and what I found interesting are the players they didn't pick but could have!

Grey Cup Turns Up Green!

I just wanted to take this moment away from not blogging to congratulate the Saskatchewan Roughriders and their fans on winning the 2007 Grey Cup! They beat the Winnipeg Blue Bombers 23-19 yesterday to snag their third ever championship and their first in 18 years.

It was a well deserved win for the team and their fans showed that they are the best fans in the CFL by painting the inside of the Roger's Centre green.

I'd like to also acknowledge the organizers for showing that Toronto can indeed put on a great Grey Cup weekend.

Finally, to Toronto football fans, thank you for taking your NFL blinders off long enough to enjoy the weekend (those of you that did anyway). As much as you can't wait to dish out thousands of dollars per game to watch your own Toronto NFL team, I'm glad some of you realize that there is already a professional product in town and it CAN coexist with its American counterpart. If this is TRULY a world-class city like so many want others to believe, we will not only support all major league events, but we also must support and embrace our own traditions. otherwise, we contribute nothing of our own to the world stage and we come up appearing to be a bunch of posers.