Wednesday, November 8th, 2006, 7:09 AM: I arrived at the East Gwillimbury GO station with a couple of minutes to spare. The 7:13 Train to Union was my ride into work every morning.
I got out of my van, slung my backpack over my shoulder and made my way to the platform. It was an unusually mild morning for November in Ontario. I stopped at the coffee truck—as was my daily routine—and paid for my coffee with a single loonie—the only change I ever have that early in the morning—for that specific purchase.
On the way to the platform, I saw a Legionnaire holding a box full of poppies to collect donations for Remembrance Day. My hand went for my coat's lapel to make sure the poppy I had bought only the day before was in plain view, to show my support. It wasn't there. It must have fallen off. Crap!
I knew I had no change on me, but I patted my pockets anyway, partly to make sure, but mostly to show the Vet that I would buy another poppy if I could, but I didn't have any change, so I couldn't. He didn't see me doing it. Shit!
I would have continued patting myself down until he finally noticed, only then, I had become acutely aware of a woman standing on the platform watching me feel myself through my pants. I stopped what I was doing. It was time to be more obvious.
I pulled my wallet out and open it, looking in and looking annoyed at the fact I had no money, but making sure anyone else could see that I had no bills. The Vet didn't notice this either. Damn!
I had no other choice. I can walk past any kind of beggar, solicitor or panhandler, but the Poppy Guys are another story. You can't just walk past them and ignore the fact they're there. These guys fought for our freedom, they're heroes! We owe them at least that respect, and more! So I was left no other alternative.
As I walked past, I gave him my most earnest look and said, "Sorry, but I have no change."
"Fine, have a nice day." he answered.
Fine, have a nice day... the words repeated in my head. Was that a snarky remark? It kind of felt like he was trying to make me feel guilty. Deep inside, I knew that couldn't possibly be his intention, but that's exactly how I felt...like dirt...
The rest of the day, I couldn't stop thinking about how I snubbed the War Vet.
Thursday, November 9th, 2006, 7:08 AM: I arrived at the East Gwillimbury GO station at my usual time. I parked the van, got my coffee and made my way to the platform. There he was again, standing in the exact same spot, in the exact same Legionnaire uniform. I hadn't expected him to be there again!
I still hadn't bought a Poppy to replace the one I lost. I still didn't have any change on me. But I did have bills, so this time I wasn't going to let him lay the guilt trip on me.
I went up to him and I said, "Man, you're always catching me without change! I usually only have enough for my morning coffee." I explained as I held up the coffee, as if he couldn't see.
Then I pulled out my wallet. I had a $10 and a $20 bill. I didn't care how guilty he made me feel, I was not going to give $10 for a poppy.
"Can you make change?" I asked.
He looked down at the donation box. It was one of those closed boxes with only a coin-sized slit in the top. No one was getting in there to make change. I knew it, but it wasn't my problem. This time it wasn't going to be my fault that I couldn't buy a poppy. Then he reached into his own pocket. I figured he was going to make change. I was OK with that. After all, I wasn't opposed to getting another poppy.
I was beginning to feel better. I knew this guy wasn't out to make me feel guilty. He was just working for his cause—and what a noble cause it was! I began feeling a little silly about the way I had felt the day before. I was prepared to give him as much as $5 for the poppy, depending on how much change he could muster. Then he did something, I wasn't expecting...
He pulled out a handful of change. There had to be at least $6-8 worth. I held out the $10 to give him, but instead of taking it, he took one of his own loonies and put it in the box, then handed me a poppy and said, "Here you go, have a nice day." The look he gave, the tone in his voice, it was the same as it was the day before. Sonofabitch! He did it to me again!
"Oh, no you don't have to do that." I began to say, but it was already done. Now, if I hadn't taken the poppy, I wouldn't have looked like an ungrateful asshole. "Here, I'll take the change," I offered the $10. Please take the goddamned bill! I thought.
"It's ok." His hand went up to decline the bill.
I resigned myself to the fact he wasn't going to accept my money. "OK, well I'll get you tomorrow...promise." I said, trying to piece together what little dignity I had left.
"Oh I won't be here tomorrow." he replied.
Are you fucking kidding me? I thought. This guy was some piece of work.
"Thanks." was all I could bring myself to say. As I started walking away, I suddenly realized that I had $3 in the ash tray of my van from the night before. I suddenly felt a shot of redemption. There were only a couple of minutes before the train would arrive, so I jogged to the van—I tried to look casual doing it, but probably failed miserably. The change was exactly where I left it, a toonie and a loonie. With a great satisfied sigh, I grabbed the two coins and returned to the Legionnaire.
"Here you go," I said, "I forgot, I had this in the car." I gave him a loonie. This was it, my dignity and honour had finally been restored.
He took the coin and put it in the collections box and said, "Thank you! Have a nice day."
Fucking Vet!
No one can guilt you like a Vet. They put my Grandmother to shame.
Posted by: Phil | 2006.11.09 at 21:30
I'm sure it's not intentional. It's that look they have in their eyes. The look that says, "I've seen men die before my very eyes, and you can't spare a dollar?"
It gets me every time.
Posted by: Al | 2006.11.10 at 08:38
Which leads to the question - do people only donate so they can have a poppy affixed to their lapel and pre-emptively ward off any potential solicitations?
Posted by: 2Shay | 2007.11.12 at 22:35
You may have something there 2Shay. I think if the Vets want to make more in donations they should have them make the poppies out of a material that dissolves or just falls off after a certain period of time so that people will donate more to replace the ones they've lost...come to think of it, that already seems to happen...I go through one or two poppies every year...damn those vets are sneaky.
Posted by: Al | 2007.11.13 at 09:39
this is why we have no less then a dozen Poppies laying around the house this time of year... everytime i walked by the Poppy stand..... i felt my lapel only to remember that my Poppy that i had purchased the day before was on my OTHER black coat... and so i would shell out for another Poppy. Joe and I actually evaded the Poppy stand at the mall the other night, ran and bought icecream cones to break a $20 so that we could go back and buy two.... as again, the ones we bought the day before were pinned to the lapels of coats hanging in the closet at home.....
Posted by: Lea | 2007.11.13 at 15:24
The things we do for our Vets! And what do we get in return? More guilt! ;P
Posted by: Al | 2007.11.13 at 20:10
This year I decided not to take the poppy when I donate. Maybe I don't know enough about the Poppy's significance to Remembrance day (save the Canadian Heritage Moment), but doesn't the whole thing just seem like an empty gesture sort of like the yellow ribbons? And you're right, the Vets would make more dosh, if they didn't have to dole out more for making the poppy. It seems it's become more of a fashion accessory or a social statement than actually remembering the vets.
Posted by: 2Shay | 2007.11.14 at 17:41